Healing isn't pretty

Based on my parting request: “if you should observe anything different, or unusual – pleasant or not – I would like to know”, the text arrived early one morning.

A session that included a deep dive conversation with Qest4 therapy had transpired a few days prior. Her adult children had just relocated to their respective locations, each hours away from their childhood home. When they’d entered college, she admits she felt like an “empty nester” and began to realize her devotion to duties around raising her children superseded everything else.

Minor physical issues began years ago, and they were not visible to others, so she suffered in silence. Eventually, they intensified and limitations had become more constrictive. Seeking options that restored the body, as opposed to medicating it, had become more of a focus.

Almost every person I have worked with has shared unfortunate events from their past with me. The ability to cope with what happened correlated to their maturity at that time and phrases such as “I had to put it behind me”, “it is what it is”, “there is nothing I can do to change anything” are common when I get into the deep end with someone.

In truth, I have yet to learn of a family history where this is not the case. And, let’s be real here – most victims are accused of making up a story, or they are instructed to never speak of it again. Protecting the perpetrator was priority, and the innocent one is left with a gaping hole from the event . Resulting in a new “code” being implemented into their own subconscious program: “I am not worthy”.

Trauma is never just an idea or a memory.

Dr. Gabor Mate' said trauma is not what happens to you - it is what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you. When I first heard him say this, it marked a pivotal point in my life. Trauma is a living imprint stored in the matrix of the body. Most of the time, this storage goes unseen, hidden beneath the surface of our daily routines, until it eventually makes itself known through pain, physical maladies, or limitations that feel inexplicable. Metaphysically, each organ, each system, seems to hold a unique resonance with our emotional experiences: anger burrows into the liver, bitterness quietly rests in the kidneys, grief constricts the lungs, and migraines often arise when we’ve held too tightly to rigid beliefs. What we do not release, the body remembers, and it speaks to us in the language of discomfort.

These stored imprints don’t just shape our health, they shape our personalities and behaviors. Trauma molds patterns of thought, which in turn shape the way we relate to others. Without awareness, people often remain caught in energetic loops — drawn to friends, partners, and jobs that mirror their wounds and reinforce the same dynamics they’ve always known. It’s as though the nervous system, accustomed to a certain frequency, keeps pulling us back into cycles of repetition. Same boss, same arguments, same betrayals, same disappointments. Energetic familiarity is mistaken for safety, even when it’s destructive.

Over time, if left unresolved, these patterns intensify. The physical body begins to express the weight of this inner resistance more loudly, and the mind spins faster in its attempts to outrun what it cannot understand. Trauma that is “forgotten” never really disappears; it festers beneath the surface, waiting to be acknowledged. This explains why, as the years go by, many people find themselves with escalating health concerns, deeper anxiety, or an increasing sense of disconnection from their own vitality.

For some, it takes a jolt like a major accident, a frightening diagnosis, or a sudden collapse of the structures they thought were stable to finally pause and reassess. These life-altering moments, though devastating, can serve as catalysts. They shake us awake to the necessity of inventory:

What do I truly value? What do I believe? What is actually worth carrying forward?

In these crucibles, we are invited to confront not just our pain, but the very architecture of our lives.

Trauma restricts the authentic self.

Yet, for those who know that true healing begins within, the journey doesn’t require catastrophe. They commit, sometimes quietly and sometimes with fiery determination, to the slow and tender work of self-examination. This path is not glamorous — it is often messy, emotional, and deeply uncomfortable. But it is also profoundly beautiful. Through this work, one begins to call back the fragments of self that were lost or abandoned in different eras of life. Piece by piece, wholeness is restored.

Trauma is stored in the body and field much like old programs hidden deep within a computer’s hard drive. You may not see them running, but they drain energy and affect every application that tries to open. The ego, acting as the system administrator, insists that these programs stay because they’ve kept things running so far. The ego’s job is survival, not evolution, so it resists any attempt to uninstall outdated software — even when those programs are clearly corrupting the system. It clings to familiarity, replaying the past to predict the future. And yet, growth requires us to introduce new codes of being, which the ego initially perceives as threatening.

This is where energy work becomes a powerful ally. Reiki, bioresonance, massage, and similar practices gently touch the very spaces where trauma has lodged itself. Because trauma resonates at a low frequency and healing vibrates at a high frequency, the two cannot coexist indefinitely. When healing energy enters, it illuminates the hidden imprints, and the body often reacts. Sometimes this occurs with anxious sensations, sometimes with tears, or even with physical symptoms that mimic illness. This can feel confusing, but it is simply the body’s way of purging what no longer belongs. Some people experience almost immediate relief, clarity, or a newfound lightness. Others endure a period of intense emotional release or bodily cleansing. Either way, it is good, and it is progress.

Healing isn’t pretty because it is real. It asks us to dismantle, to feel, to let go, and to trust. But it is worth every step. As the body releases trauma, the mind softens, the spirit brightens, and life itself begins to reflect the inner transformation. To heal is to remember your worthiness, your wholeness, and your essence, and from there, everything else begins to change.